I disagree with this. We each have the opportunity to set the standard about what's on the table for us. I got to a place with dating where I would state very clearly on the first date: "If you're looking to get laid tonight or even this month, I'm not for you."

It saved both parties a lot of time and hassle when I was just completely clear about what I was available for. Sex is only on the table if you WANT it to be on the table. If someone wanting a hookup is a dealbreaker for you, things get really straightforward really fast. You just have to be clear and articulate about what you want.

Part of that is the clarity to know that what you want is what you want! And that if someone says "Oh, well then never mind" you can be like "Cool, we're misaligned, thanks for letting me know." No shame for either of you. Folks are allowed to love hookups. I'm allowed to know that they don't work for me. Everyone is worthy of getting what they want, it's just important to make sure there's alignment.