Stoner vs Smartphoner

The year after my divorce, I dated a guy who was completely sober. (For those of you who’ve read my book From Shitshow to Afterglow, this was the gunslinger.)

He wasn’t in recovery — he’d just never been interested in inebriation, ever. It wasn’t really an issue for me, since I’m barely a social drinker, and my inebriation of choice is smoking a little pot a couple of times a week. In Washington (and lots of other states now, too) recreational cannabis use is legal, so it doesn’t even count as “slightly naughty.”

But this guy was concerned. After a couple of months, he asked me straight out: had I ever considered that I might have a substance abuse issue with marijuana?

This stopped me short. Me?! A substance abuser? Like, addicted to pot?

My initial response was to say that a couple pulls off a joint a few evenings a week is hardly a substance abuse issue. It’s not like I’m smoking daily, or waking up and doing bong loads, or sneaking off to eating pot brownies while hanging out with my kid.

But when people who care about me flag behaviors that concern them, I listen… and I listen hard.

I decided to spend a month tracking my cannabis use. I wanted to watch for patterns in my behavior — not just how much was I smoking, but WHY was I smoking.