What I learned from early menopause
Thanks to a combination of fertility treatments, endometriosis, and an exploded ovary that had to be surgically removed, I went through menopause earlier than expected. At 45, that was it for my menstrual cycle.
After a year of not bleeding, it became medically official:
I am a menopausal woman.
My initial reaction to this new identity was a big fat meh. I spent five years trying to get pregnant in my early 30s, and every failed cycle was another round of grief for my identity as a fertile woman.
Miraculously, the corporate health insurance I had in early 30s covered one cycle of IVF, and I was able to conceive (thanks, Microsoft!). When my breech son had to be delivered via C-section, I asked the doctor to tie my tubes while she was in there, and that was it: I was officially done with my childbearing years.
Since I’d already spent years making my peace with my identity as an infertile woman, I was initially blasé about the prospect of menopause. In fact, I’d been the one to make it official once I’d had my one kid! After my divorce, I’d delighted in being infertile — it made dating so much easier to make it clear: “I’ve got a kid, and there absolutely will not be more.” I reveled in my infertility!
